You are NOT alone, not by a long shot!!! In fact did you know every teen/kid at some point will see porn one way or another. And Did you know GIRLS struggle with pornography addiction today as much as boys if not more (so I’ve heard, but definitely at least as much) I have spoken to many professionals about this while trying to find help for my daughter, and they have all said the same thing… they know girls are struggling just as much as the boys. The girls unfortunately just hid it more due to fear and shame.
This is a world wide thing, actually it’s better to point out you would be shocked how many of your neighbors kids are struggling with the same problem, and their parents are feeling same as you! So alone, maybe even embarrassed this is happening, worried this is some how their fault as a parent so they are ashamed, or just not telling anyone cause they’re afraid of what others will say and think. What ever the reason it really sucks for you and them!
How would you like to not feel alone???
The worst thing we can do is keep this quiet! We need support, we need encouragement, we need someone to talk to that we love, respect, and trust. Yes, yes I know, “oh my, this is so private and we should not talk about this” blah blah blah, I disagree COMPLETELY. Well I am here to tell you my experience, when this is kept quiet and we keep it to ourselves its so much easier to blame our selves, doubt our selves as parents, and feel so alone! Which is exactly what satan wants us to feel!
By telling my most trusted people in the begin was so healing for me! I had so much love, encouragement, people cheering me and MY DAUGHTER on. YES, they would reach out to my daughter too and they have also been a saving grace for HER! Having people to talk to has helped me know I am NOT ALONE, this is NOT my fault. I already knew there is nothing wrong with my daughter, she just has a tough trail, and due to my own experience with addiction I have been able to teach others how addiction works. Why does that matter you ask…. Well BECAUSE multiple of those we told, turns out THEY ARE GOING THROUGH IT TOO! But most don’t have the addiction background Trav and I have so they seek out advise from us while we seek out encouragement from them. Thank heavens we have had the courage to open up!
How do i tell someone? its scary to put my self out there.
Well here’s what I did, I pondered, considered and also just knew who to open up to. Then I called them and told them what was happening in our home. Brooklin also pondered what friends of hers to open up to. Then we took the risk. Yep thats it, just made the call. As soon as I opened up to them they were wonderful! Many asked if they could reach out to Brooklin and talk with her, my reply… YES PLEASE!!! There’s no AA for her no place to go talk and seek advise out side of her parents and bishop (I hope to change that one day, somehow). So they reached out to her, some are so amazing and for 9+ years all the time they still check on her, and if a relapse happens, what do they do… give me encouragement and her encouragement and tell her they love her and are here for her!
What if some i tell tells someone else?
Yep that happens 🙁 we have been betrayed by three people over the years. It happens but luckily for us we always prepared Brooklin and our selves for that. People change and become sad people! But we have also always known and tried to teach Brooklin being an open book and having the courage to share who you are is better than hiding who you are or were. We have also always taught Brooklin those who matter will always love and be there for you, those who aren’t worth it don’t and won’t! We have always tried to teach her, what we her parents have learned, there will always be shady people and we need to love our selves, be proud of what we have and are overcoming and not care what others think!
Brooklin now shares her story with the world, she is no longer hiding in the shadows and failing again and again and living in deep shame. Relapses can still happen but are fewer and farther between. We are proud of her, she is proud of what she is accomplishing and sharing it with the world literally, in hopes to help other teens like her!
Be proud of who you are and who your child!
You’re doing the best your can! Hold your head high! We can all improve, none of us are perfect and beating ourselves up isn’t going to do you or your child any good!
Teach your child to be proud of the fight they are fighting and beating the best they can. Teach them to never give up. Teach them God allowed them this trial for a reason!
Brooklin was given her trail of pornography for a reason!
Brooklin would ask why me, what did I do to deserve this and so on. But now she will tell you as will I she was given this trial because God knew she would come and will come through this. He knew she would have the courage to share her story on that podcast and that millions will hear it. He knew she would be able to help many other young and old male and female by sharing her story! And well you can’t help anyone if you have no story to share, right?!
You can help others too! Share your story, even if only to your loved ones! Let them help you and you can help others down the road who were once as lost as you feel now! We are not alone, we all go through trails and the point as far as we’re concerned is 1) for us to grow then 2) so we can help others!!!
